She died 7 days before my 16th birthday.
It took about a year before it truly sank in that she was really gone. Forever. I was in the shower washing my hair and an overwhelming wave of despair and desperation washed over me. I remember falling to my knees and just sobbing violently...it was the first time I really let myself fall apart. Or maybe it’s not right to say “I let myself” because I didn’t really have a choice. My mind, body and heart had reached capacity and something took over me.
It wasn’t until the water turned ice cold that I was brought back to reality. I turned off the water and stepped out of the shower a different person than when I had stepped in. It took a year…but I had begun to acknowledge that my mom was dead.Read more »